The text I received two days ago read, “38 days clean and sober.” Thirty-eight days out of a lifetime isn’t even a drop in the bucket, but for someone going through the recovery process, every successful minute is precious and hard fought.
Hours later Bill and I were texting back and forth with information for an article I was working on. As the project was nearly complete, I received a text that read, “You’re learning more about politics than you ever wanted to know.”
He had almost read my mind. What I was actually thinking was that Bill, drug addiction or not, is a wealth of information for anything and everything political. I never know what subject matters his texts and emails may include—a state legislature race in Mississippi, the Parliamentary elections in Australia, or the latest GOP upset. Bill is an avid reader of anything to do with politics.
But as I listen to Bill talk about strategy, elections, campaign financing, and the like, I can’t help but wonder what the mind of Bill Postmus was like before Meth. It is easy to see how at 28 Bill became the youngest member of the San Bernardino County Board of Supervisors and quickly rose to become the most powerful politician in our county, a long way away from where he was 40 days ago.
About three months ago Bill and I had a misunderstanding. Actually, truth be told, I got fed up with his behavior and sent him an email telling him so in no uncertain terms. I told him he needed to get back into rehab no matter what his excuses were and warned him that he was going to be arrested in court one day if he kept doing what he was doing.
It took about a month before Bill would speak to me again but we finally patched things up despite the fact his behavior hadn’t changed. The night before August 12 I reminded him again about showing up to court clean. My last text to him on Thursday morning was to not give the District Attorney’s office what they so badly wanted.
I feel asleep after that and was awaken by a text alert from the Daily Press that Bill had been arrested in court for being under the influence. As I checked with Jim Erwin and others, no one knew anything. A check of jail records showed he would be cite released and I signed up for release notification.
It was hours before we learned he had been released but no one knew where he was. It was hours more before he made his way to a mutual friend’s house. He had been released from West Valley Detention Center without his phone or money.
The next few days were rough. Bill wouldn’t take our calls and we thought he was falling deeper in the hole. We feared that the next Daily Press text alert would be that he was found dead. He seemed to be shutting us all out.
He finally responded to me on Facebook but quickly blocked me after I chastised him for not taking the latest arrest seriously. Again we feared for the worst.
Finally, he got a new phone and started texting but still wouldn’t talk to most of us. But at least we got the lines of communication open. It seemed though he was still using based on his behavior. So I was especially surprised when out of the blue he texted me, “Let’s have lunch Saturday.”
There was one caveat and that was that we not talk about anything that happened. I reluctantly agreed as there is such a fine line between supporting and enabling. But I decided at that point support was more important.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I still had not communicated with Bill in any way but text. I expected to find a drugged out mess.
Bill arrived a few minutes later cheerful and upbeat. I was very surprised to see him neat, clean, and clear-eyed. As matter of fact, he looked better than I had ever seen him in the 18 months or so since I met him for the first time.
Conversation started with politics but the giant white elephant simply could not be ignored. Our quick lunch turned into three hours of discussion. I realized this time around Bill was more serious about his recovery than any time before.
Bill and I had probably the most open discussion we have ever had. He talked about his addiction and what it has done to his life. It was easy to see the pain in his eyes. He explained that he wouldn’t talk to any of us because he was so ashamed.
But it was also easy to see the pride in his eyes when he talked about how supportive his parents have been this time, especially his father. For those who don’t know, Bill’s father is a retired cop. And Bill grew up in a deeply religious home where neither drugs or alcohol were tolerated. Having his father’s support meant everything.
However, it was his mom who texted him throughout our lunch to check on him regularly. At almost 40, he didn’t mind. He knew he needed the accountability from people who cared about him.
It was Bill’s parents that helped him get into a rehab program and it was his mom who insisted he be drug tested each week with the results sent to her. If anything, this crisis seems to have strengthened their relationship.
I receive a text message after each drug test. To some that may seem trivial, but to the person in recovery, being able to test, knowing it will come out clean is an achievement. It means there is no reason to lie or to hide or be ashamed.
I also get a text message when he’s having a hard time with cravings. And he’s the one person I can text when I’m feeling a meltdown coming on. Most would not understand that, but it’s important.
It’s also important when he’s having a hard time to get to meetings, and he has been excellent about doing that. I usually get a text message when he finishes a meeting and I can see the difference.
When Bill got out of rehab last year after resigning as Assessor, he granted me and iePolitics the first interview. Many asked me afterward what I thought about how he looked and his demeanor. It was hard for me to answer that as it was the first time I had met him and had nothing to compare.
This time I have 18 months of dealing with Bill to compare and I can say I see a big difference from the first time I met him. I think a lot of that has to do with not only the support from his family, but also that of his friends. This time none of the people who call themselves his friend deserted him. We have all tried to support him in his recovery, trying not to judge, and just be a friend at a time when he needs them most.
Bill is attempting to get back into church and rebuild his relationship with God. His first time back he discovered he was sitting a couple feet away from Mike Morrell. He texted me and I could tell he was concerned. But when Mike saw him he showed Bill grace and concern, not condemnation, hardly the PC way of doing things for an up-and-coming elected official in San Bernardino County. It is those little things that often count the most and mean a lot to Bill or anyone struggling to keep life together. And he is finding others are starting to care more about the person than the addiction.
No one knows what the future holds. We hope this is the last time it is necessary for Bill to try for recovery. As Bill told me that Saturday afternoon, this time he is doing for himself and not because of what others think.
We also know there are so many other factors that play a role in sobriety beyond one’s desire to stay clean. The road ahead will be long and painful as he makes amends to those he has harmed and finds a way to forgive those who have harmed him. He is giving it his best effort yet. Only time will tell. Those of us who care about him want to see success. For the haters out there, oh well.
When I came up with the idea for this story two days ago, I asked him how he would feel about it because I know those in the public eye like to guard the little privacy they have. He was reluctant but in the end gave me carte blanche to write what I wanted. I heard from him a little while ago after he read my draft. I’m not going to share his response but I knew I had done the right thing.
Great!…I for one wish him Lord’s blessings!
The way I see it, you should do Bill a favor and keep your trap shut…it’s called anonymity for a reason. You both are acting as if the arrests amount to civil disobedience sort of like a “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” but it’s coming off more like Lindsay Lohan. Enough, neither you nor Bill are victims. You’re not doing the cause of ethical politics or sobriety a service.
very uncool to post all these details about someone’s struggle with addiction
I met Bill during his troubled times, and this article is great. He is a brilliant person, strong enough to fight his situation and has my support. Good luck Bill.
Sharon, more than likely his texts are still being monitored and there could be some connection. However, the funny thing about texts and emails and recordings, is that it is SO easy for things to be taken out of context. Nuances of personal contact leave so much of the story open to interpretation as many are discovering as society gets more technological. Especially in the political areana where the laws are really not ready for such communication issues – landline vs mobile including all the disposable ones that cant be traced, etc.
Regardless, compassion is the real key to recovery. After a person has hit rock bottom and is no longer in denial, they are really on the road to recovery which is why i feel there needs to be way of addressing the drug laws to seperate isues between users for meidcal purposes and blackmarket economy profit making sellers. Therefor, users (addicts) deserve all the social support in the world to stay on the path by everyone in society while sellers still should be held accountable for economic reasons, etc.
We are all unique and have something to contribute to this world even if we have issues such as Bill does to overcome. NO ONE is ever going to be perfect. My favorite story that illustrates this is about the “cracked pot”.
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.” “Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work and you don’t get full value for your efforts,” the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it hadleaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.” Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, the Lord will use our flaws to grace His Father’s table. In God’s great economy, nothing goes to waste. So as we seek ways to minister together and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don’t be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway.
Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength and that “In Him every one of God’s promises is a Yes”.
Now, taking that famous story and looking at the situation with Bill, I HOPE with his political savvy he may actually have a brilliant political science future before him, regarding this issue as a RECOVERED addict that can help our country deal with what is one of the largest destructive issues nationwide.
Growing up in Riverside, it was so common I don’t know how I escaped it considering what my exposure level was to the substance when I was young. Perhaps it is ONLY the fact that most over the counter pseudoephedrine or ephedrine that it is “cooked” from contain artificial food color coatings to which I am highly sensitive and therefore intolerant of when ingested. I was lucky, but I watched it destroy MANY people I grew up with and learned that HATE is never a solution to the problem – it only makes it worse.
it is definitely a major step in the right direction. One day at a time – 38 days is a long time and it shows a desire to put the past behind him. I can sense the humility. How can someone not have respect for someone who rose to such a level in political circles. As he admitted to the Board and the public, mistakes were made. Bill is a good person and I support him and his recovery. Everybody makes mistakes, it takes a real man to admit them and move on.
How to make Meth – News Video
Actually, you might want to research meth on YouTube. Cooking it, using it.. etc. Wow
Big yawn. We’ve heard all this before. In less than 6 months he’ll be back in jail loaded again.
I’m praying for Bill. No one can judge what he is going through unless they have been in his shoes. I have all the faith in the world that he will be successful and get his life on track again. He’s a very bright man and has a terrific moral compass that he is currently resetting. Thanks for the article – I hope a lot of people will have access to it. Love and prayers for you, “Billy.”
Hey, Sharon got permission from Bill to share her story so back off! If anything, I think this story can and will help others going through the same struggles. If nothing else, it will allow those of us who don’t personally even know Bill but who may also really dislike him to possibly see him in a different light and have some compassion for what he’s going through. I know I do.
Bill has always been very special to me, and I wish I could tell him that in person, but I can’t reveal my name here. Please tell him I think of him and pray for him often, and I’m really happy to hear he’s doing so well. Keep it up, Bill.
D’Lorah DeBarge/Rancho Refugee
Amen!!!!
In any event, I wish Bill the best. He’s been through his own personal hell. One can only hope he has learned from it and is a better person because of it.
God bless…
Bill is one of the biggest users I know and I’m not referring to drug use at all. He uses people, sucks every bit of life out of you and when you’ve had enough, tries to destroy you for not giving anymore. That’s why he’s in the predicament he’s in now. Good riddance.